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Sexting is an art, but the good news is, it's easy to learn and totally customizable to your style. Here's everything you need to know about how to sext, including tons of examples for you to try with your partner and general rules to keep in mind for an optimal sexting experience that leaves both you and your partner feeling good after being a little bad.
At the most basic level, sexting involves two people consensually texting each other about their erotic fantasies. It can be as simple as the quick recounting of a memory "last night was so hot, I loved the way you pushed me up against the wall" , or it can be a paragraph erotic novel your partner writes specifically for you via iMessage without any expectation of a response besides a "thank you.
Like other forms of phone sex , sexting is an amazing way to connect with your partner from miles away, build sexual tension in between rendezvouses, or even explore fantasies that you may not be comfortable sharing in-person. This is doubly important if you're sending a sexy selfie. Think of asking for consent as a fun way to tease your partner.
Try saying something like, "I just took a photo of myself post-shower, and I kind of want to send it to you Can I tell you what I'm thinking? If your sexting partner is making you feel uncomfortable or maybe you just got a really important phone call mid-sext , don't forget that you can revoke consent at any time. Do not share with others anything your partner sends you. This includes photos and videos but also any fantasies or kinks that your partner may have shared with you. You should even be wary of mentioning to others that you and your partner are sexting at all, unless you've ly confirmed with your partner that they're OK with this.
If you're sending photos or videos, make sure your sexting partner is truly someone you can trust. Just because someone is hot or you're having sex with them doesn't mean you should trust them with your nudes! You can be dating or sleeping with someone and still not want to send them images. You should also be mindful of sexting laws in your state and country, particularly if you're underage.
In general, be wary of sending any explicit imagery of your face. Try shooting photos from your mouth down so your partner can see your sexy lips without you having to worry about being too identifiable. If storing sexy images on your phone, try using a separate app so your nudes don't accidentally get seen or sent from your photo app.
Private Photo Vault or Secret Calculator are good options. Because your partner can't hear the tone of your voice or read your body language, Harris suggests going the extra mile by using emoji, exclamation points, and adverbs. The heart and kiss emoji are a good place to start, and the heart-eye and drooling emoji are great for showing your partner how turned on you are by their words or images. It's also never a bad time to tell your partner "you're getting me so hot right now," or "you are so sexy, it's unbelievable. Sexting can be a great way for you or your partner to feel safe sharing some more "taboo" fantasies or kinks that they haven't mentioned before.
Don't make them regret opening up to you by judging them or otherwise making them feel bad about what they're into. If something they're mentioning via sext is really killing the mood for you, simply steer the conversation away from that topic or scenario by using a "yes, and For example, if your partner has mentioned tying you up and you're not into that, you can respond something like this: "After tying me up, you realize that I want to use my hands to feel your body, so you untie me and let me get on top of you.
Here's more on how to deal with when your partner's fantasies turn you off. In fact, when sexting, you have even more leeway to draw things out and tease your partner because you don't run the risk of getting too excited and moving too quickly as you might in person. Start out by describing the scene, your and your partner's mindset, what you two are wearing, etc. You can even tease your partner by sending a super-steamy sext and then telling them to think about that while you go to the gym—and that you'll send them a sweaty selfie when you get back.
Does your partner like when you call them "baby girl"? Or do they prefer that you call them a slut? What word for their genitals makes them feel the sexiest? These are all things to think about before sexting someone new and it's never a bad idea to revisit this with your current partner. What topics are off-limits? If you feel uncomfortable having this precursor conversation to your sexting, you can try working this into your sexting conversations. For example, "Does it turn you on when I call you 'Daddy'? Now is not the time to shy away or be ashamed of your kinks.
The more specific you are about what you want to do and how you want to be touched, the hotter things will be for your partner. If you're not confident in your writing skills, think of the five senses when crafting your sexts, and think of things specific to your partner such as their body, sexual preferences, or even their apartment setting.
If you do want to show off to your sexting partner, play up the tease. Instead of sending your fully nude body in the mirror, send a close-up booty shot from below or a video of you running your hands down your body slowly. Sometimes wearing something skimpy like a see-through T-shirt or skimpy underwear can be sexier than being fully nude. Also, don't worry about taking an Instagram-worthy photo. Part of the appeal with exchanging sexy photos is the realness and rawness of them.
Not to mention, knowing that your partner snapped a pic especially for you is a big turn-on to some. The feeling of safety from behind a screen can make sexting a great tool for you and your partner to learn more about each other's sexual preferences and potential kinks. Don't be afraid to ask questions. For example, "If you could do anything you wanted with me, what would you do? Similarly, don't be afraid to assert your own preferences so that your partner can learn about you, even if they're not asking great questions.
For example, "It would turn me on so much if you ate me from behind," or "If you sucked on my balls, I would go wild. You'll get the hang of it. Remember that your sexting confidante is not expecting award-winning literature or photos. Part of what turns them on is knowing who's behind the phone screen. I keep thinking about [insert sexual memory together]. It's making me want to play with myself I don't know how long I can wait until the next time you [insert sexual activity here]. I was just thinking about how hot your [insert body part here] looked last night when you [insert sexual activity here].
I watched this movie last night where the woman got tied up, and it made me so horny. I had a dream that we invited another guy into the bedroom with us, and I woke up so turned on. I saw this remote control vibrator at the store today, and I want to try it with you on our next dinner date. Here are some ideas for how to respond to a sext. Customize the messages with language you and your partner would actually use, and never be afraid to add dirtier words or more personal details.
I was just thinking about you too. Would love to see what you're wearing right now. OMG, you look so hot right now, but I have a client call in five minutes. Can we rain check ASAP? That sounds incredible and exactly what I wish I was doing, but instead I'm stuck on the subway and I don't really wanna pop a boner here—can I call you when I get home tonight?
That sounds amazing You are insatiable and I love it. I can't talk right now but will respond to this when I can. That sounds so sexy Instead of going back and forth like we usually do, would you be into me describing a longer fantasy to you while you play with yourself tonight? Last time we did this was super hot, but I was wondering if tonight we can [insert idea here]?
I love when you send me photos. Would you be down to send a video so I can really see how you like to play with yourself? When you talk to me like this, I'm not sure I can go three more weeks without you. If you keep texting me like this, I might have to fake sick and leave work early to masturbate. I just got a boner on the subway, so if I get arrested for public indecency, I hope you'll bail me out.
I kinda want the guy sitting next to me to read your texts over my shoulder so I can brag about how great a sexter my girlfriend is. Quickies be wary of sending these on their own, as your partner likely wants your equal participation! While emoji can help add enthusiasm and excitement to your texts as we mentioned ly, you want to try to use them in a playful way so that they don't come off as too corny. For example, if you want to say, "I can't wait to suck your cock," say that instead of subbing in the eggplant emoji for the word "cock.
That being said, emoji can be a great addition to your compliments regarding sexy photos or one-liners your partner has sent. Saying "omg, you look so hot" seems even more complimentary when you add some drooling emoji on the end. Even if you're a seasoned sexter, practice makes perfect.
And there's always something unique to explore or learn with a new partner via your smartphone. Now that you've got some new ideas, why not try shooting your favorite lover a steamy sext? We dare you. Want your passion for wellness to change the world? Become A Functional Nutrition Coach! Enroll today to our upcoming live office hours. Our FREE doctor-approved gut health guide. You are now subscribed Be on the lookout for a welcome in your inbox! Main . Log in Profile. Saved Articles. Contact Support. Log Out. Your cart is empty. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world.
Explore Classes. Expert review by Kristie Overstreet, Ph. Kristie Overstreet, Ph. She is a d counselor in California, Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana. She is also a certified sex therapist, certified addiction professional, and president of the Therapy Department, a private practice in Orange County that provides counseling services throughout the United States.
May 20, In This Article. What is sexting? The rules of sexting:. Get and give consent. Don't share your partner's nudes or sexts, ever. Protect your privacy. Show appreciation and enthusiasm. Don't judge your partner's fantasies.Hot girls sexting
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43 Intensely Sexy Text Messages To Keep Sexting Red Hot