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When I read the section about spanking, I felt warm tingles run all throughout my body. While no one refused to spank me, I could tell that my propositioning made some guys uncomfortable. Skip ! Story from Sex. I hit puberty when I was Although I had no concept of sexual pleasure or what my genitals were capable of at that age, I had a lot of erotic fantasies. And since I had control over their endings, they were never upsetting — they felt more like thrilling thought experiments.
As a teenager, BDSM was mostly a superficial concept to me. It seemed like a strange fetish for freaky people who might have emotional issues. I saw no connection between myself and that world; I just thought leather and latex looked cool. By the age of 19, I was attending college in New York and living on a tight budget. I found myself scouring Craigslist for miscellaneous jobs and saw a listing for a dominatrix position at a dungeon in Manhattan.
Even though I had absolutely no experience as a domme, I immediately applied, because something about it piqued my interest. I considered myself a "type A" personality and I was an intense, strong woman in my daily life. Bossing men around for a living should come naturally to me, right? After my dramatic experience at the dungeon, I spent a lot of time thinking about what attracted me to the job in the first place. Otherwise, you risk damaging your internal organs and bones. I was surprised by how, at the moment of impact, a pang of orgasmic sensations radiated throughout my crotch.
Sure, it hurt to get smacked a bit, but the pain felt very surface level, while the pleasurable sensations were felt longer and deeper within my body. I was pleasantly surprised by this new discovery, and wanted all my sexual encounters to incorporate spanking. The next morning, I craned my neck around to survey the damage and saw that my backside was entirely purple and green. It was a little sore to the touch, but it appeared much worse than it actually felt.
My friends invited me to go to the beach, and I agreed to go, not sure how everyone would react to my purple butt. So I chose to announce the presence of my bruises instead of hiding them. My girlfriends collectively took a peek. They were amused by my audacity, and one of them even told me it looked like a beautiful work of watercolor art.
My sex-induced marks somehow made me feel even sexier; they were badges of accomplishment, not an embarrassment. Getting hit and spanked was officially my new obsession. Every time I had sex, I asked the person I was hooking up with to hit me as hard as they could. Unfortunately, not everyone I hooked up with was a natural sadist. After all, spanking and hitting is generally associated with abuse. Instead of introducing impact play to casual hookup partners, I began to go to BDSM-oriented places to seek out the types of men who genuinely felt a sense of sexual gratification from hitting me.
On a trip to Berlin, I went to a fetish shop called McHurt and purchased three handmade leather paddles and hitting instruments, then went to a few recommended sex clubs and found an eager sadist. As strange as it may sound, I shared a very deep bond with my sexual partners who inflicted pain on me. In fact, I think I intuitively trusted these men more than my "vanilla" sex partners. As the receiver, I was the person in control of how far the scene would go, but I still had to be sure that they would respect my limits. Through all of my experiences, not one man stepped outside the boundaries I had set.
Whenever a scene would end, the moments after were full of hugs, cuddling, and admiration. A few months after my initial dive into the world of masochism, I met and quickly began dating a man who truly loved to fulfill my desires of being hit.
It seemed like a dream come true — he loved being a giver, and I loved being a receiver. Sometimes, we would have sex, but our sexual relationship primarily consisted of impact play. We eventually began to venture outside the realm of spanking, and I began asking for riskier types of hitting, such as getting hit in the face which is incredibly dangerous and highly discouraged by the BDSM community , since it can cause serious permanent injuries. But when I began to get frightening bruises on my face, I quickly had to check myself about how safely I was playing, so we returned to only engaging in butt-spanking.
Even though we had no problems with our impact play, my relationship with him ended rather quickly. And when the relationship ended, my interest in getting spanked and hit vanished. It felt as though our intense kink had caused me to reach my carrying capacity, and my desires imploded into a need to return to very "vanilla" sexual encounters.
With so much distance between those days and my present life, I have no idea how I was ever into such hard-core play, and I have a hard time recalling what attracted me to it in the first place. But I have absolutely no judgment for people who safely and consensually continue to enjoy impact play. In fact, a study found that BDSM practitioners scored higher than non-kinky people on tests that measured certain aspects of mental health. These days, I approach sex much differently than I used to. So I find myself enjoying sex that is sweet, slow, and pleasantly lazy.
When I spend intimate time with my partner, I want sex to feel rejuvenating and healing, not dramatic and performative, like it did during my masochistic phase. I still have the floggers and paddles from those days, but they now decorate my bedroom walls as ornaments instead. And even though I no longer want to be spanked, I think that same sexual energy still lies within me; I just express it in a different manner.
Those six months might make me uncomfortable to think about, but I know I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and I refuse to be ashamed of my desires. Once, when we were having sex, I caught my atte. We were sitting at a terrazzo-to. Shortly after I moved to L. She brought a housewarming gift with her: a ta. Some people stuck to video and. In our new, post-vaccine world which, reminder, is not the same thing as a post-COVID world , many people have started traveling again, socializing again,.First time spanking
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